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Post by Valeska on Jul 20, 2006 16:21:04 GMT 10
She looked over at Talmic and decided for a rather bold move. They had just kissed but now no contact betweent them existed and the truth was she missed his touch already. Taking a deep breath she leaned back onto his shoulder her haed taking it's place once more and her hand moved down taking his and interlacing thier fingers.
It was bold yes. But it was less than a kiss, hug, or even holding her. It was a medium move and it felt good to her. She only hoped that he didn't mind.
"My greatest strength I think since you have recently brought it up to my attention would be my compassion. Yes, I am skilled at the saber and the force but I think pure human compassion is my key. You see not everyone is born with it and some can lose it easily. But I have it in bounds and I think it makes me better for it. I care for people and for places. Creatures and planets. I care for so much. Many might see it as a downfall but I see it as a source of light and good."
She smiled she liked her answer it was a good one she thought but she didn't know how Talmic would like it.
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Talmic Jarac
Kid
Jedi Padawan
The Original Twin Blade
Posts: 116
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Post by Talmic Jarac on Jul 20, 2006 16:36:05 GMT 10
Her hand came down to lace with his and once again he got fidgety. The teachings of the Jedi coming back to shriek in his mind that this was wrong. Why didn't this girl feel the same way? She had been in the academy just as long as Talmic, she had been told the same things for years, and yet here she was openly displaying her affection for him.
"Compassion, heh, it's amazing really. How in the world could you have remained like this threw the teachings of the Jedi? If you will note they often state that while love is not forbidden, it is discouraged. The Jedi can't let passion consume them Val, it will only lead about to becoming a Sith. Do you remember the teachings we received a few short years ago?"
Talmic honestly wondered how in tune with her feelings this girl was. If she was indeed leaving herself open for anything then she could, and most likely would, be falling from the grace of the Order before long. The Jedi did not approve of bottling up one's feelings, but opening ones self to them was not encouraged either. If this girl gave into passion she could slip away, if she gave into hate, she could slip away, a lot of emotions could do it, only a few of them would allow her to remain true to Jedi ways.
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Post by Valeska on Jul 20, 2006 17:04:07 GMT 10
Great now she was getting a lecture. Of all things she really needed at the moment a lecture was not one of them. She nodded taking the hint and stood up leaving him without a touch. Her body no longer next to him she brushed herself off and stood about three feet away from him.
"You're right. It is rather easy to fall to the dark side because of passion. Don't you think I know that. Is it so wrong to want to touch that which I am attracted to. I'm sorry, I will not touch you unless you touch me." She took a few steps away from him looking out at the scenery.
It was a beautiful day and she had met a wonderful friend but he was so stiff was the only word for it. She went inside herself and found her fustration and began to work it out as the breeze blew threw her hair standing still. She worked out why she was fustrated and how there was really nothing she could do about it.
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Talmic Jarac
Kid
Jedi Padawan
The Original Twin Blade
Posts: 116
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Post by Talmic Jarac on Jul 20, 2006 17:27:17 GMT 10
Talmic didn't move when she moved, and her words didn't sting him in the least.. What he had said was true and she was to open with her emotions for a Jedi. How she had managed to become as far along as she had as a Padawan he had no idea. Either her master was blind or he had taught her to be this way. Oh well, he had nothing to lose but the affections of someone he really decided he could do without. So he sat and slowly slipped into a meditative state.
For the next fifteen minutes he remained quiet, silently searching himself to remove any feelings of anger or hatred from his heart. It was another hour before he would awake from his trance to look around. If she was here he would just look at her for a few seconds and then lean back, laying out on the grass to stare up at the sky. If she wasn't he would d the same, only skip the looking at her.
Such an odd girl. She says she knows that passion can lead her astray and then admits at the same time she wants to show affection to wards me.Passion and affection go hand in hand. You can't have affection and not have the passion that goes behind such actions. She's going to slip up at some point. Now I see why the Jedi Order originally banned such actions, it's far to easy to lose one's self to the darkness when you let yourself get close to someone.
Talmic was, as always, reverting back to his shield, the Jedi Code. He used it to defend himself from such acts as passion, affection, and even love for another being above all others. He was a Jedi, he was supposed to defend the entire galaxy. Nodding Talmic felt definite behind his answer, he was confident in his own answers to himself.
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Post by Valeska on Jul 20, 2006 17:51:54 GMT 10
She looked behind her after she was done and he was meditating. she moved while he was doing it and sat beside him once more. She had a feeling he was going to leave and never talk to her again. The way he was acting only seemed to prove it all the more in her mind.
When he would come out of his transe she would look down at him. She would smile like she always did before speaking.
"If you really don't want to try the relationship thing that's fine. I won't pressure you. I'll leave and you won't have to see me again. Yes, I suppose the way you see it I have a weakness but how I see it is that I have a strength that few other Jedi's take the time to learn. One that will enable me to have something to fight for. One that will enable me to have something I would forever want to protect. A source of pure good in my life that could only help me strengthen my bond to the force. This is how I see my compassion." she whispered to him.
It was true the way she saw it and her master didn't seem to think her views on love and compassion were all that bad at all.
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Talmic Jarac
Kid
Jedi Padawan
The Original Twin Blade
Posts: 116
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Post by Talmic Jarac on Jul 20, 2006 18:02:12 GMT 10
He listened to her words as his own thoughts ended and he only frowned one threw out the entire speech. The thing that still ate at him was the fact that she was willing to so ready give into these emotions that were totally new to him. Yes he had love, for his mother and father, but that was on a different level... wasn't it? Oh damnit he as trying to reason out a reason to say yes to staying with this girl.
Sure she was different and a new influence in his life, and yes he had spent a great deal of his life avoiding this type of a situation but he didn't want to disappoint his masters. Master Solis, Isus, the council, he saw all of them as people to look up to. Well not Isus so much, he was more or less just someone that could show him a new side of the Force.
Sighing out loud Talmic sat back up and looked at her, his knees came up and his arms wrapped around them, his left hand locking around his right wrist he stared at her a good long time before speaking, his voice slightly lowered from before, more calm and relaxed.
"It's not that I want to push you away, no that's not it at all. It's just that I don't know how to react. For years I was told that love was something to shy away from, even compassion for a single being. Sure I was taught compassion and love for all, but when I try to put it onto a very personal level I keep finding myself afraid of what it could mean. However... I am willing to give it a shot, although you may have to put up with my constant up and down on the issue."
With that he leaned over and rested his forehead against hers, smirking slightly.
"An hour of just sitting their does a lot to you ya know? I think I can finally rationalize how you act and how you feel. Like you said, it's your strengthening bond to the Force. For me it's something to be careful of. I don;t know, maybe I should throw caution to the wind for once?"
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Post by Valeska on Jul 20, 2006 18:22:54 GMT 10
The man definatly did have his ups and downs on a topic she wondered if he was often like this or if he really was only like this on the one topic. She looked at him as he spoke. She wasn't sure what to say now. First he was yes lets give it a try and then no lets not and pretend we never said yes. And now we're back to sure I'm game.
But even more than that was the fact that now he was touching her forehead with his own. She smiled up at him when he did that and let her forehead stay on his. If he had made this move then he had deemed it safe. And by safe she would be able to stay this way until he moved away and any physical contact with the man was definatly a good thing in her mind.
"I wouldn't necessarily through caution to the wind. I would more say that you should think about it and give it a shot. One thing about a relationship is it is never a permanent thing. Yes, one day some couples in love do decide they want to commit themselves fully to a relationship but that's not what I am asking for. What I am asking for is that we do give it a try. I want to see what can happen between us and I think if you let yourself see the good points of the compassion then you too will build yourself a stronger bond with the force. All I ask for is to try. You and me try this out. Flesh it out and see what happens. If it doesn't work we'll be a little disappointed and walk away knowing that at least we had the guts to give the shot it deserved." she told him with a smile.
She reached up and touched his cheek only lightly before pulling her hand away quickly not wanting to scare him off.
"I think I can handle your ups and downs for a while. I know that I have my own sometimes and it's better to get them off your chest than to let them fester. Because that is when you are truly weak to the forces of the dark."
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Talmic Jarac
Kid
Jedi Padawan
The Original Twin Blade
Posts: 116
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Post by Talmic Jarac on Jul 20, 2006 18:33:19 GMT 10
Talmic could only nod once at her speech, the hand on his cheek was a little bit edgy, and he was tensing up again. No matter what he just couldn't beat down the years of being told this was not approved. He shook his head, pulling away from her for only an instant he looked into her eyes and then down at the grass. He had to get going, he really did.
"Thanks Val... but I have to get going, it's almost time for me to go see another master about some Force teachings. I'll think over what you said, and give it some deep thought tonight. I'll be back here tomorrow, maybe I can sneak away a training saber or two while I'm at it."
With that he made his boldest move yet, one that he was sure she would stay rooted from long afterwords. Leaning in he kissed her, letting the kiss linger he pulled back not to long after and stood up, breaking all contact between the pair he gathered himself up and headed off to go back to the academy. His lips tingled, maybe he could sort all this out with a little chat with Solis, or maybe he should give up any hopes on love at all. Oh well, he needed time and she seemed to realize that simple fact.
What have you gotten yourself into Talmic? Shes a Jedi! You're not supposed to love, the Order said for years that you should- NO! I have to decide for myself for once, make my own decision and not be a lap dog. I do not disagree with the council nor Master Solis, but I have to find this out on my own. If it means locking away the teachings I received for ten years then I must.
Walking threw the forest Talmic also realized he would be needing those training sabers first thing tomorrow morning, best get them now and say he was going to go spar with a friend in the woods. Hell it was true, so no worries!
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Post by Valeska on Jul 20, 2006 18:52:45 GMT 10
She was sad to see him go. He was sweet and kind and though extremely unsure of whether or not the force approved of or disapproved of love he was a very good man. But before he left he did the one thing she never expected.
He had kissed her.
His lips were warm and soft and he even let it linger momentarily her blood speeding through her veins. It was amazing that he had taken the initiative to do this and she smiled at him when he pulled back.
"Good bye Talmic. I'll be here tomorrow waiting." she whispered before he got up to leave.
She watched him walk off and would stay for a while longer yet thinking over the day and mediatating. She wanted to make sure he got to leave without her running into him when he clearly needed some time for thought. She lay in the soft warms grass smiling. He was perfect.
Several hours later three to be exact she began her own treck back to the academy. She planned to be here bright and early tomorrow and she couldn't wait. She had something special to look forward too.
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